Daga
Hassan Mohd Hassan
Babu shakka haƙiƙanin nasara ita ce a yi aure na manufa, ba na jeka-ka-dawo ba, ki ɗauka za ki shiga gidan miji har ƙarshen rayuwa, ba saki ba yaji, Za ku yi shekaru ashirin ba a ji kanku ba. Insha Allahu za mu fito da shawarwari 21 domin dauwamar mace a gidan miji bisa haskakawar Qur’ani da Sunnah kan fahimtar magabata na ƙwarai da kuma bincike na zamani.
Zan kasa wasiƙata zuwa ɓangarori uku; na farko matashiya na biyu shawarwari na uku rufewa. Ina rokon Allah Jalla wa Alaa ya sanya albarka da tasiri a maganganu da ayyukanmu ya albarkaci auren, ya ba ku zaman lafiya, haɗuwar zukata da zuri’a ta gari. Barakallahu lakuma wa baraka alaikuma wa jama’a bainakuma fi khair.
SHAWARWARI:
Hajiya amarya a matakin farko ki kusanci mijinki don fahimtar manufofinsa, ɗabi’u da halayensa, buƙatu da ra’ayoyinsa, tunani da tsare-tsarensa, ki kuma san abin da yake so da wanda ba ya so. Idan kika fahimci haka, kin ɗau kaso hamsin cikin dari (50%) na iya zama da mijinki da kuma mallakarsa.1 
Ranki ya daɗe amarya, ki sani dunƙulallen haƙƙin miji a kanki shi ne biyayya 2 da farantawa rabin ranki ta kowacce fuska, farantawa ta kowacce fuska ba ta yiyuwa sai kin yi amfani da ilminki akan iya hira, kwalliya, murmushi, magana, tafiya, rakiya , kallo, tarba, rarrashi, kwantar da hankali, girki, dressing, raha, kwanciya d.s
Professor amarya, ki zama professional a kan ɓangarori 15 da suka gabata, sannan kike cancanza salon zartar da su ga mai gidanki, ki zama mai lura da canccanzawar yanayi, lokaci da muhalli, insha Allahu Alhajinki zai ya san ya auri mace, sai ya kuma zame miki mijin kafin-ta-ce- Allah ya taimaka ya yi miki jagoranci. Ameen
Mai martaba sheikh Muhammad Sanusi yana cikin kalmomi masu tsada da albarka da ya fada ya ce; “Falsafar jari da sirrin rayuwa shi ne, haƙuri da karɓar ƙaddarar Allah a duk yadda ta zo”. Sister haƙuri ya zama ɗabi’arki, riƙe haƙuri da canjin rayuwa a kuma yi haƙuri da ɗan adamtakarmu ta maza. Abin da haƙuri bai kawo shi ba, rashin sa ba zai taɓa kama hanyar kawo shi ba3.
You can be the happiest woman in the world na Dr.A’idh al-Qarniy
Ukhtaah! kaifa tas’adeena zaujiki na Shk. Aliyyu AbdulAal Dahdawiy shafi na10-12.
Dariqul Hijrataini wa baabus sa’adataini na Ibnul Qayyim shafi na 279-284.
Duk yadda saɓani ya gifta, al’amura za su rikice, ki gayyato nutsuwa, zuciyarki kar ki zartar da hukunci yayin fushi, ki tuno 90/10 rules4 kada ki nemi saki, ba fita yaji, kar ki fasa yi masa ɗa’a, domin daman don Allah kike yin ɗa’ar, kada kuma ki kai ƙararsa wajen iyaye, ki koma ga Allah; ki yi alwalla, ki yi sallah raka’a biyu, ki yi addu’o’i a ciki, sannan daga baya ki bi matakan da suka dace. Allah ya taimaka ya kuma rufa asiri.
Madam Amarya ki zama mai alƙibla, ki tsayu a kan ingantacciyar manufa ta aure, ki ɗauki aure da zamantakewar auratayya a matsayin ibada mai zaman kanta, ba al’ada ba, komai za ki yi ki, nemi yardar Allah Jalla wa Alaa a ciki, ƙarfin Ikhlasinki zai sa Allah yake tunkuɗe miki dukkan matsaloli da kalubale5 Kuma ya baki mafita a kowanne irin yanayi da kike ciki, Allah ya yi mana arzikin ikhlasi-Ameen
Dukkan nisan ilmi, tunani da shekaru na namiji yana son samun mace ta gari wayayyiya wanda a idonta akwai tausayawa, a wajenta akwai hutu da nutsuwa, tunaninta akwai tsafta, zuciyarta akwai so da ƙauna, sannan ƙirjinta akwai lafiyayyr aƙidah, tsarkakakken tunani da zurfin fahimta . Hajiya amarya, ki zamo mace tagari wacce ta waye, ke ce mafi girman buƙata a cikin al’umma a kowanne zamani, a kowanne yanayi da kuma kowanne lokaci.
A daren tarewa abubuwa 11 ya kamata ma’aurata masu addini da wayewa su aikata:
i. Adduar shiga gida
ii-Sallama
iii-Shigowa da abincin da ya dace
iv-Sallatar nafila raka’a biyu tare
v-Karanta wannan adu’o’in “Allahumma baarik liy fiy ahliy wa baarik lahum fiyya. Allahummaj ma’a bainana ma jama’ata bi khairin wa farriq bainana iza farraqta ila khairin” ko kuma “Allahumma baarik liy fiy ahliy wa baarik li ahli fiyya, Allahummar zuqhum minni warzuqni minhum, Allahummaj ma’a bainana ma jama’ata fi khairin wa farriq bainana iza farraqta fi khairin” 6
vi-Sannan ango ya kama goshin amaryarsa ya karanta ‘Allahumma inni as’aluka khairaha wa khaira ma jabaltaha alaihi wa a’azu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jabaltaha alaihi”
vii-Taƙaitacciyar hirar ɗebe kewa da soyayya
viii- Su yi wanka da brush
ix-Idan ba ta jinin al’ada a yi mu’amalar aure su karanta ‘Bismillahi, Allahumma jannabinas shaidan wa jannaibis shaidana ma razaqtana’
x-Kiyaye ladubban mu ‘amalar aure7
xii.Bayan an gama an yi wanka ko alwalla kafin kwanciya.
Washegarin tarewa ma’aurata suna zaunawa dogon lokaci domin meeting su tattauna a kan yadda za su rayu har ƙarshen rayuwa cikin ƙauna da haɗin kai, a tsara gida da yadda zamantakewa za ta kasance, domin rayuwa ta ilmi, ƙauna da tausayawa, su fahimci manufofin juna da tsare-tsaren juna, tafiya a kan tsari, shi ne asasin saurin isa ga manufa. Masu hikima suna cewa “Zo mu zauna zo mu tsara”7
Littafin Stephen R. Covey The 7 habits of highly effective people 5.Q12 v24
6. Aadabuz Zufaaf fis Sunnatil Mudahhirah na Allamah Muhammad Nasiruddeen Albaniy.
7. Domin Islamic sexology karanta ISLAM AND SEX according to Qur’an and hadeeth by Da’awah academy Int’l Islamic University of Islamabad, Pakistan.
Ranki ya dade amarya, ki dauki gidan mijinki kamar Masarautarki, sarki a masarautarsa yana fadake da dukkan wani abu da zai kawowa masarautarsa barazana, yana baza tunani da ƙwarewa wajen ƙirƙiro hanyoyi da matakan ci gaban masarautarsa, sarki indai nagartacce ne ana girmama shi ana ƙaunarsa kafin ya umarta an zartas, kafin ya hana an hanu, ana kaffa-kaffa wajen ɓata masa rai, ana gaggawa wajen yardar da shi…. Ki sarrafa dukkan abinda kika mallaka na ilmi, hankali, wayewa da ƙwarewar rayuwa don ganin kin mayar da masarautarki Aljannar Duniya wajen kwanciyar hankali, nutsuwa, walwala, annashuwa don more rayuwa da samun sa’adah duniya da lahira. Allah ya datar da mu. Ameen
Malama Amarya ya zama burinki shi ne cika siffofin da Manzon Rahama sallallahu alaihi wa sallam ya siffanta mata tagari da su… Hadisi riwayar Daylami (2/18/2912), Dabariy (5/60) “Khairu nisa’ikum allati iza nazara ilaiha zaujaha sarrathu wa in amaraha ada’athu wa iza gaba anha hafizathu fi nafsiha wa malihi”…Wannan magana ta fiyayyen halitta sallallahu alaihi wa sallam ta dunƙule siffofin mace tagari zuwa hudu su ne; Mijinta ya kan ji walwala, nishaɗi da annushuwa yayin kallonta, tana gaggauta biyayya da zartar da umarninsa, tana kiyaye kanta daga wanin mai gidanta, tana kiyaye dukiya da kadarar mijinta.8
Ki zama mai taimakon mabukaci da wanda ya shiga tsanani, kar ki wulaƙanta ɗan Adam ko wane ne, kar ki ha’inci kowa, kada ki bari kowa ya ha’ince ki, ki nisanci hassada,hiqdu, mugunta da mugun nufi ga kowa, ki zamo mai afuwa, ikhlasi sauki, da yafiya, za ki yi Hayatan Dayyibah, sannan ki riƙe sirrin mijimki matuƙa, kada ki tona shi, hatta ga iyayensa, aminansa ko manyan ƙawayenki. Mace kammalalliya ana gane ta ta hanyar gaskiya, riƙon amana da rashin bayyan asirin gidanta9.
Ki rayu da mijinki rayuwa ta soyayya da gamsarwa, ki zama wayayyiya mai iya taku, Romantic relationship; yawan kiss, hugs d.s Ki sani babu kunya a nuna wa miji ƙauna da soyayya, ki dinga caccanza kiran shi da sunan soyayya, misali; Ya habeebiy, darling, my one, my heart, Abban…,my honey, hasken zuciyata, my love, rabin raina, my sweet heart d.s ki kuma iya raha da wasa ta baki da gangan jiki, ki iya salo mabambanta na kwanciyar aure, don ki wadatar da shi daga kowacce ‘ya mace10.
Girki haɗaɗɗe da iya kwalliya su ne ticket na farko wajen samun karɓuwa a gidanki, ana so aƙalla ki kware a kan nau’in girki 50 na da da na zamani. Ki san Meal planning, the how, when and why of cookery. Ki iya boiling, stewing, steaming, pressure cooking, baking, roasting, frying, grilling, poaching d.s ki nemi taimakon littattafan koyar da girki, za kuma ki iya danna nan domin shiga bangarorin abinci, Abin sha domin koyan girki cikin harshen Hausa ko www .learntocook.com, www.9jafoodie.com da www.startcooking.com, domin ki amfana, kuma za ki iya taimakawa wajen koyar da yadda ake girki domin taimakawa danna nan -Allah ya ƙara basira-
AlFiqhul Islaamiy wa adillatuhu na Prof.Wahbah Zuhailiy
Mujallar Tauheed ta Ansarus sunnatun Nabawiyyah Misra Y39 Muharram1421 Number457 shafi na 50.
In sha Allahu zan aiko da rubutuna mai taken FIQHU OF LOVE IN ISLAM; 15 ways towards nurturing marital love yana kan hanya ana editing ne. Allah ya bada ikon kammalawa.
Ki zama mace tagari mai ɗabi’ar girmamawa; ki girmama mijinki matuka, ki girmama bukatunsa, iyayensa, abokansa, bakinsa, ‘yan uwansa da dukkan danginsa, kada kiyi girman kai, sannan kiyi kokari wajen gudanar da abubuwa hudu tare da shi; cin abinci, wanka, kwanciya da kuma hira. Lallai zasu kara hada zukatanku-Allah ya hadaku ya kauda dukkan sabani mai illa-
Yar’uwa muna kyautata miki zato shika-shikan nagarta sun bayyana a tare da ke, ki kiyaye kada kowacce guguwa ta kada da ke, kada karatun shaidan yayi miki tasiri wai namiji rigar kaya…, wacce ta dauki miji uba…, namiji kanin ajali …d.s. Wallahi yada irin wannan taimakawa da’awar shedan ne.Sannan ki nisanci tasirantuwa da sharrin films/movies da kuma daudar yahudawan yammacin duniya ta feminists movement11.
Ki nisanci sharrin muguwar kawa, daukar zugarta ko shawarwarinta, ki kuma riki zama da kawa ta gari. Kawa ta gari ita ce mai addini, mai kaunarki don Allah, mai nagarta da kyawawan dabi’u, mai ilimi da zurfin tunani. Kawa ta banza kuma ita ce akasin haka-Allah ya tsare mu-
Ginuwar tattalin arziki: in har mijinki ya yarda karki zauna haka, ki lazimci sana’o’i na mata da suka dace da alfarmar hurumin aure agidan mijinki, misali, dinki, kitso, saka, kayan koli da sauransu. Zaki ragewa mijinki dawainiya, ki biyawa kanki bukatu, ki nemi yardar Allah da dukiyarki wajen hidimtawa addini, iyaye, ‘yan uwa, makwabta, mabukata d.s domin gina makomarki-Allah ya bada arziki mai amfani da albarka-.
Dunkulallun hakkokinki akan mijinki sune; ciyarwa/shayarwa, tufatarwa, muhalli, ilimantarwa, kula da lafiya, hakkin kwanciya, siyo kayan tsafta da kwalliya, mutuntawa da girmamawa… idan kin samu nakasu a wajen hakkinki kiyi hakuri ki kau da kai, ke dai ki cika naki hakkokin kina mai neman yardar Allah da kubuta a gobe kiyama. Ki dage wajen fin karfin shaidan da yakar sharrin zuciya.Ilimi da tsoron Allah suyi miki linzami a rayuwa ba shaidan,son zuciya da shahwaat ba-Allah ya kare mu ya kiyaye mu-.
Akwai abubuwa da yawa wadanda a zamanance suna yawo amma akwai ta cewar addini akansu misali plastic surgery, shan kwayoyi don tsayar da al’ada, family planning, anal sex, oral sex, masturbation da sauransu. Komai ya bayyana na zamani kar kiyi gaggawar zara ki yafa sai kin sanya shi a ma’auni na kitabu was sunna ala minhaji salafil ummah, babu alheri akan wayewar da zata tuke ga jahannama-Allah ya rufa mana asiri ya kuma gafarta mana-Ameen
Har tsufanki kar ki yi watsi da karatu da ilimi, littattafan ilimi suke cike rarar lokacinki a gida, ki yawaita sauraron lakcoci na amintattu kuma kwararrun malaman sunnah musamman marriage consultants. Ki yawaita sauraron lectures da karanta takardun mata malamai irn su Shawana A.Aziz, Ummu Abdullah bnt Shk.Muqbil, Maryam jameelah, Prof.Fatima Omar Naseef,Asmaa’ bnt Fodio,Sist.Yasmin Mogahed da sauransu.
11. Domin amsoshin wautar masu karyar yancin mata karanata Intellectual slavery of the feminists na Maryam Jameelah Allah ya gafarta mata ya lullubeta cikin yalwatacciyar rahmarsa.
Hajiya Amarya ina miko miki farin goron gayyata zuwa ziyartar littattafai biyar da websites biyar;
Fannun ta’amul bainaz zaujain na Shk.Muhammad siddeeq Minshawi.
Al’aadabus shar’iyyah fil mu’asharatiz zaujiyya n Shk.Amruu Abdul Mun’im saleem.
Tushen gina ingantacciyar iyali a musulunci na Aisha Bukar Abba Ibrahim.
The muslim home- 40 recommendations na Dr. Muhammad saalih Munajjid.
The ideal muslimah na Dr.Muhammad Ali al- Hashimiy.
zawaj.com
zafafi.com
wisemuslimwoman.com
strivingmuslimah.blogsport.com
missionislam.com
RUFEWA:
Aure sutura ce ta aminci, nutsuwa, cigaba, daraja, budi, rufin asiri da kwanciyar hankali amma in an kiyaye huruminsa an kalle shi a matsayin ibadah ba al’ada ba kamar yadda in an kauce ka’ida yakan zama nadama, bakin ciki, damuwa da asara karshe ya tuke ga saki ko rabuwa-Allah ya kare ya tsare-.
Ina rufewa da addu’a ga Hajiya amarya Allah jalla wa Alaa ya albarkaci aurenki ya hada zukatanku ya baku zaman lafiya, nutsuwa da dorewar rayuwa ta kauna da tausayawa. Baarakallahu laki wa Baraka alaiki wa jama’a baina kuma fi khairin. Allah ya rayar da mu a Aljannar duniya ya kuma shigar da mu Aljannar lahira da rahamarsa.
‘Wallahu ja’ala lakum min anfusikum azwajan wa ja’ala lakum min azwajikum baniina wa hafadatan wa razaqakum minad dayyibaat Afa bil baadili yu’uminuna wa bi ni’imatillahi hum yakfuruun’’ Q16 V72
Ayi mana hakuri muna kan fassara littatafan insha Allah indan mun gama zaku iya samun su a bangarorin na littattafai, Mungode
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Subhanakallahumma wa bi hamdika asshhadu an la’ilaha illa anta astagfiruka wa atubu ilaik