Sanin Kalmomin Soyayya Da Kauna Don Samun Mallakar Zuciyar Miji
Idan kina so mijinki ya kaunace ki, sai kin iya kalmomin kauna da soyayya. Anaso ya zamana kinsan kalmar da zaki fadawa maigida, kalmar da zata kara jefa kaunarki da soyayyarki azuciyarsa. Ki rinka nuna masa irin soyayya da kaunar da kike masa, ita zata zamo sinadarin kauna da soyayyarki a zuciyarsa, wannan a dole sai kin koya. Asami wani lokaci idan zakiyi masa magana ki kirashi da wani suna na soyayya. Zaki iya kiranshi da sweetheart, honey ko baby, masoyina ko sahibina, nawan, kodai wata kalmar da zata faranta masa rai, wata kalmar idan kin fada masa in yana jin nishadi to zai yi maki abinda zaki dade kina alfahari dashi.
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Yanada kyau mata suyi koyi da Aisha RA. Lokacin da Manzon Allah SAW ya bata labarin Ummu Zarrin, yadda mijinta yake sonta yake kaunarta, yake kyautata mata. Da ya gaya mata sai yace; ‘ai a gurinki kamar Ummu Zarrin ne da Abu Zarri’. Aisha tana daga kai ta kalle shi tace; ‘ya Manzon Allah ana maganarka kuma wanene Abu Zarrim? kafi alkairi fiye da Abu Zarrin ga Ummu Zarrin aguri na ya Rasulullah’, wannan kalma ce ta kauna da nuna soyayya.
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Anaso dole kisan yadda zaki nuna ma mijinki kauna da soyayya. Wannan yana daga cikin abinda yake kara dankon kauna da soyayya acikin zaman aure. Yana sanya miji yaji da zarar yabar inda kike yaji babu abinda yakeso ya gani in ba ke ba. Domin shi aure ana yinsa ne akan soyayya da kauna.
Shiyasa acikin al qur’ani mai girma Allah madaukakin sarki yake cewa; “Yana daga alamomin da zaka gane karfin ikon Ubangijinka yadda ya halitta muku matayenku daga kawunanku domin ku samu natsuwa izuwa gareku”.
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Wasa Da Maigida Da Zuzuta Shi
Shi miji kamar sarkin gargajiyane a fadarsa. Haka yake yana son yaji matarsa tana wasa dashi, sai yaji a duk duniya kamar babu wani maigida sai shi. A lokacin sai kanshi ya kara gingirin yaji shi din shine.
Dole sai mace ta koyi wannan, dole ne ta iya. Idan baki iya ba kishiyarki ta iya sai ta fiki mallakar maigida. Sau da yawa zaki fada masa kalma ta zuzutashi ta koda shi, kaga kamar bai ji ba ko yayi shiru bai tanka ba, kuma kalmar ta samar da rijista acikin zuciyarsa kuma bazai taba mantawa da ita ba.
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Ki kaddara ke a matsayinki na matarsa duk kalmar da mijinki ya wasa ki da ita zakiji dadi. Misali kina zaune sai kikaga maigida ya kura miki idanuwa yana kallonki kamar bai taba ganinki ba, kika ce masa ya naga kana kallona kamar baka taba ganina ba? yace; ‘kinsan wani abu wallahi kullum ganinki nake kina kara kyau kina kara yarinta’, haka zakice; ‘uhum maigida kaji ka da zolaya ni har wani kyau ne dani bayan gaka’. Yace; ‘tsaya saurara kiji kinsan ko rana da takeda haske ita bata san tanada haske ba, mutane ne suke kallonta suka san tanada haske, haka ko flower da kikaga tanada kamshi ita bata san tanada kamshi ba, mutane ne suka shanshana suka ji. Saboda haka ke bazaki gane kyawun da Allah ya baki ba sannan nida Allah yabani ke nasan yayi min ni’ima’.
Hakan zai sanya har ya fita ya dawo bazaki manta da wannan kalmar ba. To yadda kikaji wannan kalmar zatayi miki tasiri a zuciya, to haka shima idan kin fada masa kalma ta kodawa ko yabawa, misali ki nuna masa babu namijin da zai iya kula da gida kamar shi, shiyasa kike addu’a da godiya ga Allah daya baki shi a matsayin miji. Ke gani kike gaba daya matan duniyannan babu macen da tayi sa’ar samun miji irinki, yanzu kaga acikin gidan nan irin kokarin da kake gurina kamar kaza da kaza, to tabbas zai ji dadi kuma bazai taba mantawa ba. Irin wadannan kalmomin suna da matukar tasiri awajen maigida.
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Duk Kyautatawar Da Maigida Zai Miki Ki Zamto Mai Godiya
Ki zamto mai godiya ga mijinki duk da abinda ya kawo, ki karba ki yaba masa kiyi godiya ki nuna masa kamar duk kasuwar garin ce ya sayo ya mallaka akanki. To wallahi indai kina yiwa maigida wannan, to kuwa duk abinda ya mallaka akanki zai kare. Amma idan zai sayo ya kawo ki amsa ki kasa yi masa godiya to wata rana ma sai kin rasa abun. Domin ko yayi tunanin sayowa sai ya tuna ba wata gwaninta yayi ba don kushewa zaki yi.
Maigida yaje ya sayo miki atamfa ‘yar 1500, yazo ya kiraki yace ga atamfa na sayo miki, ki amsa kina far’a kice ‘maigida har atamfa na samu?’ kina nuna farin ciki kina godiya. Sai ya tsaya yana mamakin yanzu ace saboda atamfar dudu daya da dari biyar kina wannan murnar da godiya. Ki kara da cewa ‘maigida Allah yayi maka albarka, Allah ya biya ka da aljanna. yanzu yadda mazaje suke wahala ko nan makwabtanmu shekaran jiya da kyar akayi abinci agidan, sannan a gidannan bamu taba rashin daura tukunya ba, Allah yayi maka albarka ya bawa ‘ya’yanka mazajen da suma zasu rikesu haka’. To sai yaji wani irin dadi a ranshi, gobe ma idan yaga wani abu ya sayo ya kawo miki.
Amma sai ya kawo atamfar da ya sayo maki, sai kika fiddo kika duba kika yi tsaki kina cewa, ‘da naji kana cewa ka sayo min atamfa na dauka zanin arziki ne, na dauka irinsu Super Holland ko Exclusive yo ashe ‘yar nigeria ce’. To ko yaga abinda zai sayo miki bazai sayo ba.
Allah madaukakin sarki yana cewa; (Idan kuka gode mani sai in kara maku, idan kuka butulce mani lallai azabata mai tsanani ce). Kenan Allah ma yanaso a gode masa balle dan Adam, dole sai kin dauki matakin godiya ga maigida akan duk abinda ya kawo miki. Saboda haka mata kuyi kokari ku gyara, wannan yana daga cikin raunikanku.
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Yiwa Miji Addu’a
Mata da yawa daga cikinku baku iya yiwa miji addu’a ba. Anaso kizama mai yawan yiwa mijinki addu’a. Bayan addu’o’in dakike yi masa a boye, to ki rinka yi masa a bayyane a gabansa. Lokacin da ake so ki yiwa miji addu’a lokuta ne guda biyu (2).
Na farko idan zai fita kasuwa ko office to kiyi masa rakiya har zuwa zaure, idan kun tsaya babu mai ganinku to anan zaki tsaya kiyi masa bankwana. Zai fita kice “Ya Allah ga maigida na nan zai fita, Allah ka kare mani shi, Allah ka tsare mani shi, Allah kaje dashi lafiya ka dawo min dashi lafiya, maigida Allah ya sanyawa rayuwarka albarka, Allah ya sanya albarka acikin abinda zakaje nema, Allah ya yiwa zuri’arka albarka’.
Wadannan addu’o’in da zakiyi masa har ya dawo bazai manta dake ba, babu wata wacce zata gitta a gabansa ta burgeshi.
Abu na biyu, idan ya dawo gida da gajiyarsa, anyi duk abinda ya kamata an karbeshi da hannu bibbiyu, ya shiga daki. Ki zauna kusa dashi a wannan lokacin ki fada masa kalmomi da zasu sanyaya masa zuciya, hakane zai sanya ya gane yadda yakeda gata a gidansa. Ki cigaba da yi masa addu’a: ‘Maigida wannan wahalar da kake sha akanmu Allah ya sanya wannan yazama sanadiyar shiganka aljanna’. Ki kai masa ruwa a bayi yayi wanka, ki dawo kina masa tausa, Duk macen da takeyi wa mijinta haka bazai iya rayuwa bada itaba.
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Lura Da Abincinsa
Malamai sunce, ciki shine hanyar da ake bi a shiga zuciyar miji. Kiyi kokari kiga kinyi wani tsari domin ki rinka kammala abincin akan lokaci. Duk namijin da ya auri matar da bata iya abinci ba, zai kwana da bakin ciki. Akwai babban hatsari idan akace mace bata iya abinci ba. Dole ki koyi abinci ki Koyawa ya’yanki. Domin mafi yawancin mata basu damu da koyawa ‘ya’yansu mata girki ba, musamman a birane, saboda yaran da safe suna school, da yamma kuma suna islamiyya. Wasu kuma domin wadata. Saboda suna da masu yi masu aikin girkin, kin manta da cewa ba dole bane diyarki ta auri wanda yakeda karfin daukar mai aikin ba, kuma ai yau da gobe sai Allah.
Idan kinada hali Allah ya buda miki kinada ‘yar wadata, ki tsaya kiga me maigida yafi so, ga misali idan danyen kifi yafi so, wata rana sai ki shirya bashi mamaki ta hanyar daukar kudinki ki sayo kifi kiyi masa farfesu kafin ya dawo daga wurin aiki ko kuma kasuwa. Idan ya dawo yana tunanin ki kawo masa wake da shinkafa da mai, ko dafa-duka, ko kuma wani nau’in abincin da yake ganin shine daidai da kudin cefanen daya baki. Yana budawa sai yaga ashe farfesun kifi ne.
Ki tabbata dole ne zai ji dadi matuka, dole ne kuma zai ji yana kara sonki da kaunarki a zuciyarsa. Da wannan Zainab Bint Jahash RA ta zarce s’a acikin sauran matan Manzon Allah SAW. Sai da takai hatta su Hafsa da su Aisha suka fara kishinta. Sai da ta tsaya ta gane abinda Annabi SAW yafiso sai taga babu irin zuma, sai ta tanadi zuma a dakinta. Annabi yana bi dakunan matansa suna gaisawa, idan yazo dakinta suna gaisawa sai tace; “Ya Rasulullah, ga wata zuma naga kana son zuma, na samo maka tanada kyau ya Rasulullah”, Annabi yana son zuma matuka sai yace mata; ‘to kawo’, sai yadawo ya zauna a dauko me zuma yana lasanta a hankali, don haka zai jima a dakinta, shikenan ita ga annabin Allah a gabanta. Sai ta kara zama ta duko masa zance na kauna da soyayya, tana kallonsa yana shan zuma tana masa tadi tana yi masa fara’a. Sauran matan suka rasa me yake yi a dakin, sun ga ya shiga wannan dakin ya fito, ya shiga wancan dakin ya fito, amma idan ya shiga dakin Zainab Bintu Jahash sai suji shiru. Wannan ya kara mata kima a wurin Manzon Allah SAW.
To saboda haka kada ki sake kiyi wasa da abincin maigida, barin maigida da yunwa hatsarine, gara ma kibar dan karamin danki da yunwa. Domin kadan daga cikin abinda yake sawa maigida saurin fushi acikin gida da akwai yunwa. Kuma in kin iya abinci, da akwai matar da zata yiwa maigida laifi ya fisata amma idan yasamu tayi abinci lafiyayye sai kiga ya sauko ya dawo.
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Lura Da Dukiyarsa
Ki zama mai kula da dukiyar mijinki, domin akwai da yawa daga cikin mata, wadanda basu kula da komai miji, ya kawo, a wulakance yake. Koda kuwa dutsen guga ne ko talabijin ya kawo sai an lalata, ta zama yadda kasan wata mai lakanin karfe haka take Wata kuma ko zani aka sayo mata bazai iya yin wata biyu ba ya lalace balle kayan maigida, balle kuma dukiyar maigida. Irin wannan macen da wuya miji ya so ta, da wuya miji ya kaunaceta. Allah yasa mudace ameen.
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Ki Lakanci Miji Idan Yana Cikin Farin Ciki Da Bakin Ciki
Anso kisan lokacin da mijinki yake cikin damuwa, sai ki gane cikin hikima taku ta mata, ki gano yadda zaki cire wannan damuwa daga zuciyarsa ki mayar da ita farin ciki. Akwai matar da duk yanda mijinta ya shigo dakinta da bacin rai, sai tasan yadda tayi taga tasa shi farin ciki. Sai tasa shi yakoma yana faraa. Akwai wacce lokacin da zai shigo dakin shara take to wata hidimar daban, don haka ko kallonsa baza ta yi ba zai wuce da ‘yan ledojinsa ko kuma duk wani abinda yazo dashi, ba tareda ta amsa masa sallama ba.
Yaje ya zauna yaji shiru har sai ya kai da ya kira ta. Ga misali sai yace; Ladidi bakiga na shigo bane?’ idan anyi sa’a zata shigo, idan kuwa ba haka ba sai tace; ‘baka ganin abinda nake yi’ tana murtuke fuska. To anan babu yadda za’ayi namiji yaji yana sha’awar shigowa gidan, domin ke kike da hakkin kwantar masa da hankali ya samu natsuwa ta rayuwar duniya ki kuma samu ladar Ubangiji a gobe kiyama.
Wajibinkine a yayin da mijinki ya shigo yayi sallama ki amsa masa cikin farin ciki da murna, ki kuma karbi duk abinda yazo dashi a hamnunsa, Sannan kiyi masa sannu da zuwa, koda kuwa wanka kike yi. Yin hakan shi zai kara dankon soyayya da kauna a tsakaninku.
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Ana So Ki Amsa Masa Duk Lokacin Da Ya Kiraki A Shimfidar Sa
Akwai matan da suke sanyawa mazajensu ka’ida kafin su kai ga kwanciya dasu. Wata zatace sai an sayo mata tsire, wata ice cream sai kace karuwa.
Akwai kuma wacce da gangan sai tace batada lafiya, kuma lafiyarta kalau, ko tace jininta yazo kuma karya take. Akwai kuma wacce zata rinka yaudararsa kawai ta tsaya waje ya kirata tace ina zuwa, in ya sake kira tace ganinan tafe, da haka da haka har sai bacci ya kwasheshi. sannan sai ta lallabo tazo ta kwanta. Da gari ya waye dole yayi hakuri ya rungumi kaddara saboda yara sun tashi. Irin wannan matar a kullum tana cikin fushin Allah, tana cikin la’anar Allah. Kuma irin wannan matan kan sanya a madadin mijinta yayi mata awon masara, sai yayi mata awon kanjamau, saboda baya samun biyan bukata awajen ta. Anan ta jawo wa kanta bala’in dake iya lalata rayuwarta ko kuma ya halakar da ita. Saboda haka wajibine ta amsa kiransa a duk lokacin daya bukaceta akan shimfidar su.
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Anaso Mace Ta Gane Yaushe Ne Mijinta Yake Da Sha’awarta
Ana so ba sai ya nema ta ba ta san halin da yake ciki, domin da akwai mazan da suke jin irinsu fa sunada class, kamar idan sun tsaya neman mace class dinsu zai zube. To anan anaso ita ta neme shi, ta rage masa wannan class din da yakeji yanada shi. Duk mijin da yake auren wannan matar, zakiga yana girmama ta yana kara kaunarta.
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